Sheldon: Is one of the forms the 599B/C? Because, if so, it has a doozy of a typo.
Howard: I don't know.
Sheldon: All right, well, I don't want to spoil anything, but you might want to start practicing your "siglature."

Penny: Are you sure you're not just a little jealous?
Leonard: No. It's just, my way is better, but they won't even consider it.
Penny: Oh, well, it's their loss. Look, why don't you go to bed. I'll run out and get you some medicine.
Leonard: Ah, it's okay. Stuart gave me some when I was at the comic book store.
Penny: Really? You're taking medicine from Stuart? Doesn't he need, like, all of it?

Howard: See what I'm talking about?
Sheldon: Oh, yes. Oh, that is textbook encroachment. And I know because I have the textbook.
Amy: First edition.

Amy: So, I guess you're not gonna help them?
Sheldon: Oh, I'm gonna help them. Help them get on the right side of Johnny Law.
Amy: Oh, you can't turn them in. The city's gonna make them rip out all the work they've done and do it over. It would be the end of your friendship.
Sheldon: What choice do I have? These are the rules.
Amy: Sheldon, I am begging you. Please, don't do this.
Sheldon: You know who doesn't get permits for their decks? Animals.
Amy: Animals don't have decks.
Sheldon: Oh, really? I have one word for you: beavers.

Nathan: Well, how can I help you?
Sheldon: If I know someone in violation of the building code, should I turn them in?
Nathan: Interesting question.
Sheldon: Yeah, I know. Because, on the one hand, Confucius says we owe a greater responsibility to people we're close with rather than to society at large. But, on the other hand, Socrates says that we're obligated to obey all laws, even unjust ones.
And then, furthermore, if we're entertaining rules about when it's okay to break the rules, I should-- where does it end?
Nathan: Well, for me, it ends at 5:00.
Sheldon: Well, I just-- I don't know what to do.
Nathan: All I can tell you is that the building codes are there for everyone's safety.
Sheldon: Oh, so you're saying I have no choice but to turn them in.
Nathan: I did not say that.
Sheldon: But would you? And remember that I laughed at your "zone zone" joke.
Linda: It's not even a joke!
Sheldon: Oh, is that Linda back there?
Nathan: Yeah.
Sheldon: Aw. How are her hot flashes? Any better?

Howard: So, what's up?
Sheldon: I went down to the city Code Compliance Office to turn you in.
Howard: Are you kidding?
Sheldon: But I didn't do it. I filled out the form and then realized that the unwritten rules of friendship are more important than the written rules of the city of Altadena's Zoning and Planning Department.
Bernadette: Aww.
Howard: Really, "aww?"

Howard: This is just delightful.
Bernadette: Do you think he knows we're the ones that got him in trouble?
Howard: Who cares?
Bernadette: I do. I met his wife. She seems really nice.
Andy: Sorry about the noise, neighbor!
Howard: No problem!
Andy: Hey, you guys know a Sheldon Cooper?!
Bernadette: No, we do not!

Stuart: Let me just lock up here.
Denise: Okay. So what do we do?
Stuart: Uh, well, if this is a worst-case scenario and we're the last two people alive, we're gonna, we're gonna have to rebuild civilization.
Denise: Do you have any special skills?
Stuart: I can draw. How 'bout you?
Denise: I can play clarinet.
Stuart: Oh, I didn't know that.
Denise: Yeah, ten years.
Stuart: Ah. You know, it, uh, might also be up to us to repopulate the Earth.
Denise: I'm okay with that.
Stuart: So shall we?
Denise: Wait here. I'm gonna brush my teeth.
Stuart: Sorry, we're closed!
Sheldon: This is going on Yelp!

Bernadette: Ooh, it's freezing out here.
Howard: Would you like me to heat things up?
Bernadette: No, I want to get in the hot tub before I lose a toe.

Andy: Howdy, neighbors! We haven't met yet. I'm Andy.
Bernadette: Oh. Hello. Nice to meet you. You know, your new balcony kind of looks right over our fence.
Andy: You might want to put up some trees. We can see everything.
Howard: You can, but it's okay if you don't.

Bernadette: So, can you turn your lights off?
Andy: Sorry, they're motion-sensored. They'll go off in a minute. Just try to stay still.
Bernadette: (door closes) What are we gonna do about this?
Howard: I say we wait until his lights go off, and then I make hot, motionless love to you. Don't move. It's go time.

Howard: And his new balcony looks right down on our hot tub, which meant we couldn't do anything.
Raj: So you gave your kids Benadryl for nothing?
Howard: Why do I share with you? You're such a yenta.

Leonard: Excuse me. Remember you all came here to check out my cool new laser?
Sheldon: Oh, right. I'm gonna go wait in the car.

Bert: I need some help with a meteorite I found.
Leonard: Ah. I'd be happy to.
Bert: Oh, no, I meant Raj. I really need an astrophysicist.
Raj: Wow. This is exactly like a dream I had. Except in the dream, you're Gal Gadot.

Howard: So, is there anything we can do?
Nathan: Absolutely. Do you know if they have permits for the balcony?
Bernadette: Oh, no. We were hoping you could check.
Nathan: I certainly can. I just need you to fill out a form, and we have them available in Armenian, Chinese, Cambodian, English, Farsi, Korean, Spanish and Vietnamese.
Howard: Well, English, obviously.
Nathan: Well, we're not allowed to presume. That was a whole other meeting.