Sheldon: Leonard, be serious. We're playing a game here.

Mary Cooper: You should have called sooner.

Mary Cooper: Now, the reason I called Amy over was to find out what kind of person she is. Now, after chatting a bit, I have to say that while she is a perfectly ... unique ... young woman, you two are definitely not suited for each other.

Mary Cooper: Well, putting aside the pig Latin. It's a good a thing you two decided to end the relationship so I didn't have to end it for you.

Leonard: I saw what you did there.
Mary Cooper: He thinks he's such a smarty pants. He's no different from any man. You tell him not to do something, that's all they want to do. If I hadn't told my brother Stumpy not to clear out the woodchipper by hand, we'd still be calling him Edward.

Leonard: But there is something I should prepare you for.
Mary Cooper: Oh, relax, Leonard. I have raised that boy. I have seen him at his best and I've seen him at his worst. There's nothing he can do that will surprise me.

Sheldon: Here's your cat and here's your $20.

Mary Cooper: Shelly, dinner's ready.
Sheldon: Coming.
Mary Cooper: No cats!
Sheldon: Aww.

Penny: Oh Balls!

Raj: Penny, dear, why don't you shoot another silver bullet my way?
Penny: Get one yourself.
Raj: Ooh, somebody's been taking bitchy pills.
Penny: God, he's an ass when he drinks.
Howard: Oh, he's an ass when he doesn't. You just don't hear it.

Sheldon: I brought Amy here to show her some of the work I'm doing.
Amy: It's very impressive, for theoretical work.
Sheldon: Do I detect a hint of condescension?
Amy: I'm sorry, was I being too subtle? I meant compared to the real-world applications of neurobiology, theoretical physics is - what's the word I'm looking for? Hmm, cute.
Sheldon: Are you suggesting the work of a neurobiologist like Babinski could ever rise to the significance of a physicist like Clerk Maxwell or Dirac?
Amy: I'm stating it outright. Babinski eats Dirac for breakfast and defecates Clerk Maxwell.