Sheldon: This is nothing but a blatant abuse of power by a petty functionary. Explain to me why Wil Wheaton and his lackeys get in and we don't.
Movie Attendant: Because I'm the petty functionary with the clipboard, bitch.

Penny: I can't believe you've never read "Eat, Pray, Love".
Leonard: When she comes out with "Eat, Pray, Runaway from a giant boulder", I'll read it.

Sheldon: Listen to what Mr. Wil Wheaton is tweeting: "Best seats in house for Raiders screening. Suck on that, Sheldon Cooper."
Leonard: Why do you read his Twitter feed? You know it's gonna upset you.
Sheldon: I believe in knowing my enemy, Leonard. Had Twitter existed at the time, would not General Custer have followed the tweets of Sitting Bull? Would not Lee have followed Grant? Would not Spy have followed Spy?

Sheldon: Well, if it isn't Wil Wheaton, the Jar-Jar Binks of the Star Trek Universe!
Wil Wheaton: (Imitating Jar-Jar) Me-sa think that's funny.

Howard: I'm guessing 21 seconds had something to do with that too.

Wil Wheaton: (Imitating Jar Jar Binks) We-sa going to go into the movie now. Bye bye!

Penny: All right, time to open bachelor number two.

Leonard: Uh, I hope they let us in soon. I'm tired of running to the gas station to use the bathroom. The guy makes me buy a Gatorade every time. It's a vicious circle.
Howard: Too bad you don't have a stadium pal like me.
Leonard: What's a stadium pal?
Howard: Let me put it this way. Takes care of the bathroom problem and it keeps your calf warm.

Wil Wheaton: He's got the movie. Get him!

Sheldon: (Running from the angry mob) Why is there never a pontoon plane when you need one?