Amy: I'll let you in on a little secret. Originally, we were painted nude. But I had him add clothes cause I thought it was an unnecessary challenge to our heterosexuality.
Penny: Yeah, good call.
Amy: But, if you ever change your mind, all it would take is some warm, soapy water and a couple of sponges.
Penny: You're talking about the painting, right?
Amy: Sure.

Sheldon: I'm trying to raise the temperature in here before my nipples tear through my shirt.

Penny: It's kind of heavy.
Bernadette: Too bad you're not as strong as the dude in the painting.

Kripke: Well, as long as we're here, I might as well take a leak.
Sheldon: Kripke, you're in my spot.

Amy: Before I met you, I was a mousey wallflower. But look at me now. I'm like some kind of downtown-hipster-party girl with a posse, a boyfriend and a new lace bra that hooks in the front, of all things!

Amy: Goodnight, painting Penny. Goodnight, real Penny.
Penny: Goodnight, real Amy.
Amy: You don't have to say goodnight to painting Amy, because she's never leaving.

Sheldon: As you know, the essence of diplomacy is compromise. With that in mind, I propose the following: I will take Rothman's office... and you will find a way to be okay with that.
Barry Kripke: How about I take Rothman's office and you go suck a lemon?

Bernadette: Goodnight, real Penny. Goodnight, transvestite Penny.

Sheldon: The vibration. We are directly underneath the geology lab, and they're running their confounded sieve shakers again. Hey, gravel monkeys, if you need to shake rocks, try jiggling your heads around!

President Siebert: Now? You realize I'm your boss and I'm holding my penis.

Sheldon: There it is again! Do you feel that?
Howard: The growing realization that you are one wacky bastard? Yes.

Sheldon: If you're interested I can send you a link to a YouTube video that would show you how to perform your own rectal exam. Helpful hint: trim your nails first.

Leonard: It's going to be difficult to find something you are both equally good at.
Raj: Is there anything you are both equally bad at?
Sheldon and Kripke: Sports.

Raj: I'm glad men are wearing hats again. They are so distinguished.

Sheldon: (Yelling at a mockingbird) And you, the notes are C, D, E, G and A! You pick one or I'm chopping down that tree!