Howard: Yes, yes, I've been doing my push-ups. I'm still stuck at nine, but that's going all the way down with no one holding me.

Howard: Yes! Thank you! Oh! Oh! Im not gonna die in space! Im gonna die the way God intended, in my late 50s, with a heart full of pastrami.

Assistant: Why don't you slip this on?
Sheldon: Said the hangman offering a noose.
Raj: Well, that wasn't as entertaining as when he rents bowling shoes, but it was right up there.

Howard: I wasn't worried.
Raj: You weren't?
Howard: Let me explain the difference between you and me. You watch Star Trek. I live it.

Sheldon: Ah, much better.
Leonard: You must be burning up.
Sheldon: A little. But not more than your urethras will be after whatever's in those pants swims up them.

Sheldon: Well, I cut quite the dashing, yet hygienic figure, don't I? I look like the Flash about to get married.

Sheldon: Oh! A tissue! A tissue! Oh, good Lord!
Assistant: Uh, where's he going?
Leonard: He keeps emergency Purell in the car.
Sheldon: Keys! Keys! Keys!

Penny: Well, I've been thinking, and maybe I'm ready to take things a little faster.
Leonard: Oh, great. And I promise, after waiting four months, fast is what you're gonna get.

Penny: You know, just-just one thing. Look, we're in a really great place right now, and I don't want to do anything that will make stuff all weird again.
Leonard: So we won't let it get weird.
Penny: Okay. Oh, and just a heads-up, mm, since the last time you saw me naked, I got a Cookie Monster tattoo. The acceptable responses when you see it are awesome or nothing.
Leonard: What about ... (in a low voice) Cookies!

Amy: With our friends moving forward in their relationships, I've decided that we should make progress in ours as well.
Sheldon: Oh, dear Lord. Two years ago, we didn't even know each other, and now I'm in your apartment after dark. How much faster can this thing go?

Amy: We'll see. Let's start with a little romantic dinner music, shall we?
Sheldon: Super Mario Bros. theme?
Amy: Yes.
Sheldon: I see what you're doing. You're attempting to build on the work of Ebbinghaus by triggering an involuntary memory of me playing that game, admittedly the happiest 600 hours of my childhood, but it won't work.

Amy: Oh, I know. I think it will go nicely with what I have prepared for dinner.
Sheldon: Spaghetti with little pieces of hot dog cut up in it!
Amy: Just like your mommy used to make.
Sheldon: Oh yummy, yummy! We should do this more often. Uh-oh.

Leonard: I'm sorry. I- I crossed a line. I didn't mean to!
Penny: Who says something like that right in the middle of sex?
Leonard: I don't know, it just came out. People say weird things during sex all the time.
Penny: Okay, well, they sure as hell don't say that.
Leonard: It was the heat of the moment.
Penny: No, the heat of the moment is, ooh, yeah, just like that, not will you marry me?
Leonard: I'm sorry. Just, just give me another chance.
Penny: Why, so you can crawl under the covers and go, hey, baby, want to go look for houses in neighborhoods with good schools?

Leonard: Okay, at some point, we'll look back and this is going to be a funny story. Why don't we just start doing that now?
Penny: You're kidding.
Leonard: No. Hey, do you remember that time when I proposed to you in bed? And you were all, like, what are you doing? That was so funny. So funny.
Penny: It's not funny.
Leonard: Give it a minute. Is that a little smile I see there? I should go.

Howard: Hey, I was thinking. For our first dance at the wedding, what if we learn the final number from Dirty Dancing?
Bernadette: You're kidding.
Howard: No, come on. How cool would that be? Me running into your arms, you lifting me up into the air.