Quotes from ‘The Workplace Proximity’

The Workplace Proximity

The Workplace Proximity
Season 7, Episode 5 - Aired October 17, 2013

Sheldon is afraid he'll be spending too much time with Amy when she takes up a job at his university. Meanwhile, Howard ends up sleeping on Raj's couch after a disagreement with Bernadette.

Quote from Amy

Sheldon: *knocks three times* Amy, Bernadette, Penny. *repeats three times*
Bernadette: He's never going to stop doing that, is he?
Amy: I don't mind. I'm hoping to put his love of repetition to good use someday.

Quote from Bernadette

Howard: My arm is feeling numb. *Howard rubs his right arm*
Bernadette: That's the wrong arm for a heart-attack, doofus.
*Howard switches to his left arm*

Quote from Sheldon


Amy: It's actually steamier than it looks. Sheldon's looking up the phallic symbolism of root vegetables in renaissance paintings.
Sheldon: Oh no, I got bored of that. I'm just browsing cuticle scissors on Amazon.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: Maybe your friend Gundersen needs to head over to IKEA and assemble a sense of humor.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: Amy, this isn't easy to say. All relationships are difficult. But even more so when you're with a person who struggles with everyday social interactions. And frankly, who can strike people as being kind of a weirdo.
Amy: Sheldon, you're not a weirdo.
Sheldon: I wasn't speaking about me. I mean, honestly, there's no telling what will set you off. Introducing myself as your boyfriend. Giving you the opportunity to drive me home. Breaking the ice with you colleagues using ethnic humor - the funniest kind of humor.

Quote from Raj

Raj: His only options here are to fake a heart attack or have a real one.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: It's a physical relationship, too. With hand-holding, hugging - even on hot days! ... Oww! Here's a new one, apparently we kick each other on the shins under the table.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: That's right. I'm in a boy-girl relationship with this cute little lump of wool.

Quote from Amy

Sheldon: Are you sure your moth-like personality won't be drawn to this blazing fire that is myself?
Amy: More and more sure.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: My point is we're a couple and I like you for who you are - quirks and all.
Amy: I like you too.
Sheldon: I should hope so. I don't see anybody else banging on this door to put up with your nonsense.
*Amy slams the door on Sheldon*
Sheldon: Not even a goodbye? You see this is the kind of thing that makes people think you're weird. ... Poor kid. She just doesn't see it.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: If you're hungry, I brought home mutton and coconut milk.
Penny: Why'd you do that? You hate lamb.
Sheldon: I was asking for directions. Apparently there was a communication problem.

Quote from Raj

Raj: It wasn't a pajama party. It was just a couple of bros hanging out, giggling, eating cookie dough and watching Princess Bride.
Howard: Please stop talking.
Raj: As you wish.

Quote from Sheldon

Amy: I have some exciting news to tell you.
Sheldon: That makes two of us. My new cuticle scissors will be here in one to two business days. ... Come on, one.

Quote from Penny

Penny: You can't tell her what she can or can not do.
Sheldon: Last week you told Leonard he couldn't wear his wookie jacket out in public.
Penny: That's different. I'm not going to the mall with somebody dressed like a dumb space bear.

Quote from Leonard

Leonard: Sheldon, I've known you a long time. I'm going to tell you this with all the love I can possibly muster. Amy's right, you're wrong.
Sheldon: But you don't even know -
Leonard: It doesn't matter.
Sheldon: But in my defence -
Leonard: Doesn't matter!

Quote from Sheldon

Leonard: I thought Amy was going to drive you home.
Sheldon: I thought so too, but she's acting very strangely. I was discussing it with a Sri Lankan fella on the bus. He hypothosized that a tiger may have recently run across her shadow. Although he may have just been trying to drum up business for his brother-in-law's witchdoctor practice.

Quote from Bernadette

Amy: I'm leading a study to see if deficiency of the monoamine oxidase enzyme leads to paralysing fear in monkies.
Bernadette: If they're anything like humans, the answer is yes.
Amy: You've done this experiment on humans?
Bernadette: You mean like death row inmates with nothing to lose? No, that would be unethical.

Quote from Leonard

Sheldon: I appreciate your concern but I won't be seeing any more of Amy than I already do. I assume we'll deduct any extra time I see her at work from our weekly quota.'
Leonard: Please let me be there when you tell her that.
Sheldon: Why? So you can see the look on her face when she hears my top notch idea?
Leonard: Please, oh please, just let me be there.

Quote from Raj

Raj: What started as a pap smear turned into a date, which turned into her working there, which turned into marriage, which then turned into hatred which continues to this day.

Quote from Penny

Penny: You know, not a lot of people know this. But the monoamine oxidase enzyme was discovered by a woman, Mary Bernheim.
*Amy and Bernadette look puzzled by Penny's knowledge*
Penny: That's right, my phone is just as smart as you guys!

Quote from Penny

Penny: Awkward silence, Sheldon on his phone, no touching; somebody's having date night.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: Did you know that Los Angeles has a little Sri Lanka?
Leonard: I did not.
Sheldon: Well, I do now. They're a lovely people, although terrifying when you wake up face to face with them.

Quote from Sheldon

Penny: How do you not tear off his clothes and take him right here on this table?
Sheldon: If you do that I'll scream.

Quote from Penny

Penny: Okay, what happened between you and Amy?
Sheldon: Can you believe she said I embarrassed her?
Penny: Yeah.

Quote from Amy

Sheldon: Look at her, desperately wishing she was over her at the cool table.
[Cut to Amy laughing with her colleagues at another table]
Sheldon: Don't worry little moth, the flame will come to you.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: You want some mutton and coconut milk?
Amy: No.
Sheldon: Boy I can not give this stuff away.

Quote from Sheldon

Amy: And this is Dr. Gundersen from Stockholm.
Sheldon: Ah, Sweden. Home of my favorite Muppet and second-favorite meatball.
*Dr. Gundersen and Amy look blankly at Sheldon*
Sheldon: Okay, the Nordic reputation for a lack of humor is well founded. Boy, is his name Gundersen or No-fun-dersen?

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: You know, riding with Leonard has got a little tedious lately. The only car game he ever wants to play is the quiet game. And he's terrible at it, I always win.

Quote from Sheldon

Sheldon: If it makes you feel any better, Amy and I are fine. I mean really good.

Quote from Sheldon

Amy: Where are we going with this Dr. Cooper?
Sheldon: Oh please, I'm your boyfriend. Call me Sheldon.