Bernadette: Like our lawyers say, the world is full of things that can cause a rectum to bleed.

Leonard: So you never went outside?
Sheldon: Or had a single piece of fruit.

Sheldon: You know, Sherlock Holmes liked to use cocaine to sharpen his focus. But I'm sure those cool ranch Doritos are doing the trick.

Sheldon: I typically wear pajamas, but I recently adopted a hobo lifestyle. And pajamas are the sleep pants of The Man.

Howard: What's wrong with your car?
Raj: I'm having my windows untinted.
Howard: Why?
Raj: I've got a hot girlfriend now. I want the haters to know.
Howard: What are you talking about? No one's paying attention to you.
Raj: Wow. How's that hater-ade taste, bro?

Penny: Well, I'm a people person. People like me. Some of my favorite people are people. I feel like I'm saying people a lot. People people people. Okay, I'm done.
Dan: Sure?
Penny: People. Yes.

Sheldon: My girlfriend wanted to move in with me. Which was no doubt a ploy just to see my, excuse my language, bathingsuit parts.

Penny: Hi, wanna do yoga with me?
Leonard: Let me just have some coffee first and then I'll have the strength to tell you how much I won't be doing that.

Leonard: A butterfly could have gotten himself home from Arizona.

Sheldon: Of course it's not a big deal to you. You idolize me and nothing could knock me off that pedestal you put me on.
Leonard: It's true. You are a God to me.

Sheldon: I was the nation's smartest caterpillar and after pupating in our nation's railway system, I have burst forth as the world's smartest butterfly.

Sheldon: No, I'm not okay. I'm wearing borrowed pants, I don't have ID, and one of the officers here won't stop calling me chicken legs.