Howard: You know, when I was a kid I loved going there but I could never get a ride.
Raj: Ooh, what if we got a van and drove around, and picked kids up?
Sheldon: Nice! Like at parks and schools.
Howard: Toy stores, puppet shows.
Leonard: Hold on, so your idea is to get a van and cruise the streets looking for kids to pick up?
Sheldon: Yes!
Leonard: And are you going to use candy to lure them in?
Raj: We are now!

Sheldon: I have some odd freckles on my buttocks. Can I make an appointment for you to look at them?
Emily: Erm, okay, I guess.
Amy: I'm with him three years, nothing. She's with him two minutes and he's taking his pants off.

Amy: Can you see how a grown man and accomplished scientist who invests in a store that sells picture books about flying men in colorful underwear might be wasting both his financial and intellectual resources?
Sheldon: No.
Amy: Then I think it's a terrific idea.
Sheldon: Great! Wait until you hear about our van.

Leonard: Will you stay out of this?
Sheldon: If only Penny had said that once in a while.

Raj: I'm not the kind of guy who drops his friends because he's in a relationship.
Leonard: What happens if she doesn't like us?
Raj: Hey, you're my dear friends. You'll get a Christmas card for a couple of years and then you're dead to me.

Leonard: Do you know how Penny told Raj he should have left her off his list.
Howard: Yeah.
Leonard: Do you think when she and I had that conversation she left people off her list?
Sheldon: I'm sure she did.
Leonard: Why?
Sheldon: Because if she hadn't, she'd still be wading through the list.

Leonard: Wow, Raj, you were not lying about her.
Raj: I told you she exists!

Raj: It's true. You're both gorgeous. Kinda says something about the man who could bed you both. *Laughs* (To Emily) You get why I've been alone most of my adult life?

Raj: You guys kiss and hold hands.
Leonard: I've seen him do it. It's not romantic.

Howard: Yeah, I wish Stuart would reopen, I hate this place, too.
Leonard: Okay, him I believe because he's an eighty-year-old man in a fifteen-year-old's t-shirt. You're just upset about Stuart, your mom and all their HBOs.

Penny: You told Emily we hooked up?
Raj: Well, in my defense, I tell everybody.

Bernadette: Did she say she didn't like you?
Penny: Of course not. Nobody ever says they don't like you straight to your face.
Amy: Heh, we have led different lives!

Howard: Since when do you read social science?
Sheldon: I go to the bathroom like everybody else.

Emily: I'm a resident at Huntington Hospital.
Sheldon: Oh, I like their emergency room. You know, even if it turns out you don't have Dengue Fever, they still let you take a lollipop.

Bernadette: Fine, what is it?
Howard: It's to help re-open the Comic Book Store.
Bernadette: Nope.

Penny: I don't know what Emily's so upset about anyway. Even if I had slept with him, so what? Everyone has a past.
Amy: Ahem.
Penny: Almost everyone has a past.

Raj: Well, I would never leave you off my list. And not just because without you we're playing fast and loose with the word "list".

Howard: You know, I can't even watch Game of Thrones now without thinking of my mother saying "Stuart, which one is Thrones?"

Sheldon: Boy, if there's one thing that gets my goat, it's those dadgum insurance companies.
Leonard: Why, because they won't get off your lawn?

Howard: All I know is he's got my mother buying four ply toilet paper. Four ply! If his butt is so delicate, why doesn't he use an Angora rabbit?
Sheldon: For starters, they shed and bite.

Howard: So me and the guys were talking about this great investment opportunity.
Bernadette: Nope.
Howard: But you didn't hear what it was.
Bernadette: I know.

Leonard: You didn't lose anyone when you met Amy.
Sheldon: The study refers to romantic partners. That's not the way I would categorize the two of us.

Amy: You really went your entire life without anyone saying I hate you to your face?
Penny: Yeah.
Amy: I'd say it now, but look at those cheekbones.

Penny: I brought coffee. I wasn't sure what you like, so I got a regular, a cappuccino and a chai tea. Since you like Raj, I thought you might be into that.

Sheldon: I miss Stuart's place. All this loud music and exposed brick, is this a comic book store or a rave at the third little pig's house?

Penny: It has also been shown to cause significantly fewer side effects than other oral contraceptives. Although it can cause acne, which if you ask me kind of increases its effectiveness as a contraceptive.

Penny: Yeah, maybe you're right. I used to think my high school P.E. teacher didn't like me, but it turned out she liked me a little too much.
Bernadette: Really?
Penny: Yeah. It was fine. We went to a Melissa Etheridge concert, I got an A, it all worked out.