Howard: May I say something?
Bernadette: Is it about how I can't have new wallpaper 'cause your dad left when you were little and your mom died?
Howard: Never mind.

Wil Wheaton: Hey, Sheldon. This is Adam Nimoy.
Adam Nimoy: Nice to meet you.
Sheldon: Oh, it's nice to meet you. I admire your father's work very much.
It's not every day I get to meet someone whose life's journey began in my hero's scrotum.

Sheldon: As a child, when faced with a dilemma, my mother encouraged me to ask, "€œWhat would Jesus do?" The answer to that was always, "Love thy neighbor." But my neighbor had a dead tooth, so that wasn't going to happen.
But that's why I changed it to, "€œWhat would Spock do?"
Adam Nimoy: Did you find that helpful?
Sheldon: Yes. Oh, for example, three years ago when I discovered Penny was eating all my Pop-Tarts, instead of getting angry or vindictive, you know, I got a floor safe.
Penny: I knew I could smell 'em.

Bernadette: Hey. You got a minute?
Howard: Not really. Visigoths are kind of up my butt right now.
Bernadette: Pause the game, Howard.
Howard: "Howard?" Uh-oh. Make room, Visigoths.

Mike Rostenkowski: You know, I know you don't want to hear this, but it wouldn't take that much work to turn that den into a nursery.
Howard: Why wouldn't I want to hear it?
Mike Rostenkowski: 'Cause Bernie said you didn't want kids.
Howard: That's not true at all. I wish she'd get pregnant, believe me. I'm climbing on top of her every chance I get.
In a loving and respectful manner.

Sheldon: I also have the other kind of will, and in it I will my Wil back to Wil.
Leonard: Will Wil want it?
Wil Wheaton: Wil won't.

Mike Rostenkowski: You gonna be okay down here?
Howard: Yeah. Yeah, I feel like an archaeologist. Indiana Jones and the Single-Family Dwelling.

Sheldon: Penny, you spent some time in front of the camera. Any words of advice?
Penny: Yes. Don't take your shirt off just because the director said so.
Sheldon: This is a documentary about Mr. Spock. I'm sure if there's nudity, it will be tasteful.

Sheldon: Hello, Amy. It's Sheldon. Yeah, I know that we're broken up, but I'm leaving this message because I thought perhaps you'd like to watch me be interviewed for a documentary about Mr. Spock.
Or as I like to call it, a Spockumentary.
Yeah, I'm going to use that joke in the interview, so try to laugh like you're hearing it for the first time.
You know, hysterically. And with a tinge of sadness that I'm no longer in your life.

Howard: But what room?
Bernadette: How 'bout this one?
Howard: No way. No, this is the room I associate the most with my mom.
Bernadette: Then how 'bout the bathroom?
Howard: I want to change my answer.

Adam Nimoy: And what is your earliest memory of the character Spock?
Sheldon: The first episode of Star Trek: The Original Series I ever saw was "The Galileo Seven." Uh, Spock had just landed on the planet Taurus II.
Then my brother came in, sat on my head, and said, "Eat farts." After that day, I was hooked.
On Star Trek, not my brother's sphincter-based cuisine.

Howard: Look, uh I don't even think you can take this wall down 'cause it's load-bearing.
Raj: Well, it's easy to find out. Just go into the crawlspace under the house and check.
Howard: When is your visa up?

Sheldon: Not only is it signed to me but this is where he wiped his mouth. So we are currently in the presence of Leonard Nimoy's DNA.
Wil Wheaton: Um, doesn't Adam count as Leonard Nimoy's DNA?
Sheldon: No offense, but this is pure 100% Nimoy. Because of your mother, you're only 50%. Which isn't bad, but anything that you wipe your mouth on gets thrown away.

Penny: What else you hiding in there?
Sheldon: Wouldn't you like to know?
Penny: I would.
Sheldon: All right then. See, just my valuables. My passport, uh, my will-
Leonard: You have a will?
Sheldon: Yeah. My 1/18 scale Wil Wheaton action figure.

Adam Nimoy: What about from when you were a kid?
Sheldon: Oh, certainly.
Sheldon: Uh, when I was eight years old, Billy Sparks cornered me in the playground.
I asked myself, "What would Spock do?" Then I grabbed Billy on his shoulder and performed my first Vulcan nerve pinch.
Adam Nimoy: Did it work?
Sheldon: Oh, no. He broke my collarbone. I can still hear it click.