Sheldon: You guys, the bathroom here is amazing. There's people cooking in it.

Howard: I'd like to dedicate my last song of the evening to my wife, best friend, and now the mother of our child. I love you, Bernie.
"Havin' my baby / What a lovely way of sayin' / How much you love me / Havin' my baby / What a lovely way of sayin' / What you're thinkin' of me"

Howard: Maybe that's an idea, guidance systems for drunk people.
Raj: They have that. It's called Uber.

Leonard: I'm not seeing anyone using liquid helium vortices like this.
Howard: I'm not finding anything either.
Raj: That's a good sign.
Sheldon: Oh, wait, I found something.
Howard: Damn. What is it?
Sheldon: This video. The baby panda sneezes, and the mama panda gets so scared.

Bernadette: Yeah, it's all real exciting.
Penny: Are-are you not happy about this?
Bernadette: I am. Of course I am. I'm sure it's just the hormones. But it's weird. Howie's the one who's been talking about having kids for years, and I was all excited to tell him because I thought he'd be thrilled, but then he started to flip out and now this feels like a bad idea and I'm gonna get fat.
Penny: No, no, come on. Come on, you're not gonna get fat. You're gonna be beautiful and glowing and have the cutest little baby bump ever.
Bernadette: Easy for you to say, skinny bitch.

Leonard: Can you focus on what we're talking about?
Sheldon: All right. Look, now, this may be the rum talking, but as long as the unpinning rate of the vortices is kept within 1.1 and 1.3, the Magnus force issue should be negligible.
Raj: Even drunk, he's still smarter than all of us.
Sheldon: And stronger. Yeah, who wants to see me beat up the bartender?
Leonard: I'd enjoy that.
Sheldon: Nah, she's a good kid.

Leonard: Ready to play when you are.
Howard: Yeah, um, in a minute. I actually need to tell you guys something.
Raj: If it's "thank you" for the homemade jam you got in December, congratulations, you're the first one.

Bernadette: Sorry, hormones.
Penny: Oh, that's all right. All I heard was "skinny."

Bernadette: So, I'm glad you guys are here. There's something I want to share with you. Howie and I are going to-
Penny: (phone beeps) Leonard says you're pregnant.
Amy: What?
Penny: "Don't say anything. Act surprised when she tells you." All right, how you want to do this?

Raj: Groundbreaking revelations, tropical drinks. Tell me this isn't like the best episode of Sex and the City.

Bernadette: We were out one night, and things got a little spontaneous.
Amy: Oh, that sounds juicy.
Bernadette: Well, Sheldon was going on and on about time zones and railroad schedules, and I went out-
Penny: Wait, I remember that. Hang on. You did it at our place?
Bernadette: Kind of on Sheldon's bed.
Amy: What?!
Penny: No!
Bernadette: I was headed to the bathroom, and I passed Howie on his way out. Usually he says, "Do not go in there," but this time he said, "Hey, let's go in here."