Sheldon: Well, it makes perfect sense. Because you're an expectant mother, you can't drink alcohol. I don't like to. You can't have sushi. I don't like to. You can't go in hot tubs. I consider them vats of sweaty people soup.
Bernadette: Gee, Sheldon, I dont know.
Sheldon: Oh, come on. Roller coasters, caffeine, runny eggs, I've been avoiding these things all my life. And now, because you're pregnant, you have to.

Leonard: Hey, did you ever think about the military applications for the guidance system?
Sheldon: Of course.
Leonard: Does it bother you?
Sheldon: No, it did at first. But then I talked it through with Frank and Alicia, and they really helped put things into perspective.
Leonard: Who are these people?
Sheldon: Leonard, friends are like toilet paper. It's good to have extras under the sink.

Penny: All right, well, let me know if you guys want to go.
Raj: I would love to. I do enjoy the complexity of an aged Pinot noir.
Leonard: I'm sure that would pair nicely with your fried nuggets of chicken.

Amy: Well, it sounds like a nice night. We should go.
Sheldon: Wine again? Yeah, no, thank you. I like my grapes the old-fashioned way, in a juice box.

Leonard: The difference is she's bringing life into the world, and you suck it out.

Bernadette: So what do you want to do tonight?
Sheldon: Oh, I have quite the evening planned. Our foetus-friendly festival of fun begins with an in-depth look at the world of model trains, and then we'll kick things up a notch and explore all the different ways that you can make toast.
Bernadette: There's more than one?
Sheldon: You've heard of French toast?
Bernadette: (upbeat) Yeah.
Sheldon: Cinnamon toast?
Bernadette: (upbeat) Yeah.
Sheldon: Melba toast?
Bernadette: (upbeat) Yeah.
Sheldon: You get where I'm going here?
Bernadette: (downbeat) Yeah.

Zack: So how's the science world? What are you guys up to?
Howard: We've actually been working on a prototype for a navigation system we invented.
Leonard: But we won't bore you with the details.
Zack: Are you kidding? I love science. Einstein, Stephen Hawking, Mike deGrasse Tyson.
Amy: Mike deGrasse Tyson?
Howard: Yeah, you know, the boxer who grew a mustache and became a scientist.

Zack: So what's your invention?
Howard: Well, we're using quantum vortices to replace gyroscopes in guidance systems.
Leonard: What's neat is that they can maintain angular momentum indefinitely.
Zack: Angular momentum. I was wondering about that.

Sheldon: Your name is Bernatrix. You are a warrior queen. You're strong, beautiful and tall.
Bernadette: Oh. I like the idea of being tall.
Sheldon: I think you're gonna like a lot of things I have in store. For example, in this world, only the men get pregnant, so your husband is home trying not to pee when he laughs.
Bernadette: This is getting fun. What's next?
Sheldon: You're parched and weary from battle. You stand in front of a tavern that serves the coldest, most delicious ale in all the realm.
Bernadette: Oh, I haven't had a drink in months.
Sheldon: What do you do?
Bernadette: I storm in, slam my sword down, and say, barkeep, bring me the strongest ale you have and serve it in the skull of a goblin.
Sheldon: He wants to see I.D.

Raj: Zack, this is my friend Claire.
Zack: You're hot. You seeing anybody?
Raj: Uh, she's seeing me.
Zack: Why'd you say she's your friend?
Raj: We're just keeping it casual.
Zack: Why is he being casual with you? You seem great.
Claire: I don't know. Ask him.
Zack: Why are you being casual with her? She seems great.

Howard: Okay, let me stop you right there. We absolutely know our invention will not be used to destroy the world.
Leonard: How?
Howard: Because no one from the future has come back to kill us.

Raj: Hey, dude, you're killing me with Claire.
Zack: What are you talking about?
Raj: I mean, come on, look at you. You're classically handsome, you've got a swimmer's body. Next to you, I look like me.

Raj: Yeah, okay, just do me a favor and stop talking about how great Claire is.
Zack: Anything for you, my little foreign friend.

Zack: I see what you're saying. She's not so great.
Raj: Don't listen to him. He says crazy things all the time. Uh, watch. Marco.
Zack: Polo.

Raj: So, uh, what are you guys talking about?
Claire: Your friends were just telling me about all the other girls you're dating.
Raj: Why would you do that? I specifically asked you not to do that.
Penny: We didn't.
Amy: You just did.
Zack: Wow. Maybe none of you guys are smart.