Penny: Hey, are you still hanging out with Bernadette tonight?
Sheldon: Yes. And we're going to prove that we don't need alcohol to enjoy ourselves.
Penny: Oh, good for you.
Sheldon: Or caffeine, tobacco, sushi, soft cheese, processed meats and jacuzzis, which can all be harmful to an unborn baby.
Penny: No honey baked ham in a hot tub, got it.
Sheldon: Oh, no bubble baths either. They can increase the risk of a urinary tract infection.
Leonard: Okay, have fun.
Sheldon: Oh, and no swordfish, king mackerel, shark or tilefish, which are all high in mercury.
Leonard: We're leaving now!
Sheldon: Oh, and no contact with guinea pigs or hamsters or their droppings, uh, no-no cat litter boxes, no paint fumes.
Penny: Okay, we're leaving, love you, bye.
Sheldon: Boy, do I love restrictions.

Bernadette: I brought sparkling cider.
Sheldon: Oh, the bubbles tickle my nose. I'll just open this now so it can get nice and flat before we drink it.

Sheldon: H-O gauge trains are 1/87th scale. N gauge are 1/160th scale. And that brings us to Z gauge, at a - you could easily swallow it, dont ask how I know - 1 to 220.
Bernadette: I'm sorry, I have to ask.
Sheldon: When I was five, I ingested a Z gauge locomotive. I spent the next three days saying, "I think I can pass it, I think I can pass it, I think I can pass it."

Bernadette: What is it about trains that you like so much?
Sheldon: What an interesting question. When I was a child, life was confusing and chaotic for me, and trains represented order. I could line them up, categorize them, control them. I guess you could say that they gave me a sense of calm in a world that didn't.
Bernadette: That's lovely, Sheldon.
Sheldon: Well, other than when they're chugging through your bowels, these things are magic.

Leonard: I have to admit, I've been worried about the military applications since we started talking about this.
Howard: Me, too.
Leonard: Why didn't you say something?
Howard: Same reason I don't talk about ass cancer. It's not a pleasant topic.

Claire: Hey, Raj.
Raj: Hey, Claire. Good, you're here. Guys, this is my friend Claire. We're casually dating, and there's no need for any further questions about it.
Leonard: Would you like a glass of wine?
Raj: I said no questions.

Sheldon: You're gonna enjoy this. I designed it especially for you.
Bernadette: Okay, but just for a little bit.
Sheldon: Oh, I have a feeling that once you start, you're not gonna want to or be allowed to stop.

Bernadette: Okay, I guess I should eat the Hell Prawn.
Sheldon: Using your sword, you prepare a beautiful sushi dinner. You slip into the hot spring and enjoy the warm water on your aching joints. As you happily close your eyes, you recall the incredible evening you've had and notice that your feet and ankles are smaller than they've ever been. The end.

Claire: So, I got to ask, does Raj bring around other girls?
Penny: Uh, you know, I'm not really around that much. Amy knows much more than I do.
Leonard: I don't think you have anything to worry about. Raj is a terrific guy, loyal to a fault.
Howard: Yeah. He still has an AOL address.

Bernadette: Thank you for this. You know, ever since people found out I'm having a baby, I feel like I became Pregnant Bernadette. It was nice to take a little break tonight.
Sheldon: I can understand that. From the moment people realized I was a genius, I've been Sheldon the Genius. Although I've never really wanted a break from that, so I suppose I don't understand. Which is ironic, 'cause, you know, genius.

Howard: You could put it in a satellite or a rocket, and it'll run forever.
Zack: Cool. Could it be used for missiles and war stuff?
Howard: Yeah, but we didn't create it for weapons.
Leonard: And I doubt the military would be interested in our little guidance system.
Zack: Is it better than the one they use now?
Howard: A lot.
Leonard: Way better.
Zack: Huh. You sure you guys are smart?

Raj: They know that we're not exclusive, and we just don't ask too many questions.
Sheldon: You know, it's like how I play Warlords of Ka'a with you and Elder Sign with Frank and Alicia.
Leonard: Who's Frank and Alicia?
Sheldon: You, you and I spend a lot of time together. Can there be a little mystery between us?

Sheldon: I am going to record this for posterity.
Leonard: All right, here goes nothing.
Sheldon: Here goes nothing? This is the initial test of our prototype. Can we give it a little more gravitas?
Leonard: Fine. Preliminary trial of the infinite persistence gyroscopic navigational system, phase one commencing.
Sheldon: Eh, maybe it's your voice. I'm gonna see if I can get James Earl Jones to do it in post.

Penny: Hey, you ready to go?
Leonard: Hang on.
Penny: What are you doing?
Leonard: Oh, I found a scratch-and-sniff book about wine tasting. It teaches the different flavor notes to look for.
Penny: You actually smell the wine?
Leonard: I mostly just smell my nasal spray.
Penny: Are your sinuses acting up?
Leonard: Since my preschool got a bunny.

Amy: So, Sheldon and Bernadette are hanging out.
Howard: I know. What are they gonna talk about?
Amy: I don't know. I really don't know.