Leonard: What is happening there?
Sheldon: I think it's pretty obvious. They don't want dessert 'cause they filled up on bread.

Penny: Um, so listen, I don't know if you have any plans next weekend, but I kind of promised your mom we'd have another wedding ceremony so she could attend this time.
Leonard: Wait, we're gonna get married again?
Penny: Yeah, kind of, but now we can invite our friends and family.
Leonard: Seems like a lot of trouble for a hug.

Penny: Come on, it'll be fun, and, you know, your mom was genuinely hurt we didn't invite her to the first one.
Leonard: Look, in our defense, it was kind of a spur of the moment thing, and also, we don't like her.
Penny: Leonard, come on, she's your mom. If we can do something to make her happy, why wouldn't we?
Leonard: I just said why, we don't like her.

Penny: Okay, so it's not a legal ceremony, it's just a chance for us to redo our vows so everyone can be part of it.
Amy: So there's no maid of honour?
Penny: No.
Amy: Huh. But if I were to, say, wear a purple satin dress with a sweetheart neckline and stand near you, you wouldn't be able to stop me, right?
Penny: I don't see how I could.
Amy: Then I graciously accept.

Bernadette: Who's going to officiate?
Penny: I was kind of hoping you would.
Amy: Wait, now I'm just some lousy maid of honor?

Howard: I can't believe I was so naive. The military is just gonna take over the whole project. And you know what happens if we object? We disappear. Like off the map. Like every American Idol winner since season four.

Leonard: Hey, I, I know things are a little rough with you and Mom, but I'm really glad you're here.
Alfred Hofstadter: Me, too. I should have never had that angioplasty because I feel fine.

Howard: I'm just afraid if I respond, then they'll know I got it.
Raj: Oh, dude. The minute you opened that e-mail, they knew you got it. I mean, they're probably looking at you through the camera right now. (Howard closes the laptop, Raj re-opens it and looks at the camera) I love America!

Bernadette: Are you done with this nonsense?
Howard: It's not nonsense. This is how the U.S. military works.
Raj: Oh, if it's even the U.S. Military. It could be foreign military pretending to be American.
Howard: You're right. We turn our guidance system over to them, next thing we know, they're using it against us.
Raj: (Raj opens the laptop again) I also love the enemies of America.

Raj: Howard, there must be someone at the university you can go to for help.
Howard: Are you kidding? They're probably the ones who leaked it to the military in the first place.
Raj: What about the guy on the Channel Four News? You know, Four on Your Side? Maybe he can be on your side.
Howard: I'm being harassed by the government, not trying to get to the bottom of a dog-walking scam.

Bernadette: Oh, stop. You know what's really happening? All the movies you've watched, the TV shows, the comic books, they've completely twisted your thinking. No one's after you, no one's listening to you, no one cares about you.
Raj: I'd like to think the Four on Your Side guy cares about me.

Penny: You know, Beverly, I know you and Alfred have your differences, but if you think about it, if you hadn't married him, there'd be no Leonard. So that's good, right?
Beverly Hofstadter: (unemphatic) Yeah.

Howard: He's flashing his lights. What's that mean?
Raj: I think he wants us to pull over.
Bernadette: Do not pull over. I'm not raising this baby alone.

Amy: Do you realize what's happening here?
Sheldon: Yeah, I do. They're filling up on bread and ruining their meal.

Amy: What took you guys so long?
Leonard: Oh, we were following Howard, but for some reason, he turned off his headlights and went up a one-way street.