Penny: Okay, look, I bought the game, and I've been exploring the Island of Tordage but I can't figure out how to get past the guard captain.
Sheldon: Do you have the enchanted sword?
Penny: No. No, I have a bronze dagger.
Sheldon: You can't slay the guard captain with a bronze dagger. My Lord, it's like the car key in your apartment door all over again.

Raj: I don't like bugs, okay. They freak me out.
Sheldon: Interesting. You're afraid of insects and women. Ladybugs must render you catatonic.

Sheldon: Scissors cuts paper, paper covers rock, rock crushes lizard, lizard poisons Spock, Spock smashes scissors, scissors decapitates lizard, lizard eats paper, paper disproves Spock, Spock vaporizes rock, and as it always has, rock crushes scissors.

Sheldon: Why are you crying?
Penny: Because I'm stupid.
Sheldon: That's no reason to cry. One cries because one is sad. For example, I cry because others are stupid, and that makes me sad.

Raj: What's with him?
Leonard: Penny is keeping him up at night.
Howard: Me too. But probably in a different way.

Sheldon: Level 3 and she thinks she's rich. What a noob!

Leslie: Hello men. Sheldon.