Sheldon: Leonard, you have to do something about Penny. She is interfering with my sleep, she's interfering with my work, and if I had another significant aspect of my life, I'm sure she'd be interfering with that too.
Leonard: Why should I do something? You're the one who introduced her to online gaming.
Sheldon: Well, yes, but you're the one who said hello to her when she moved in. If you'd simply restrained yourself none of this would be happening.

Raj: I don't like bugs, okay. They freak me out.
Sheldon: Interesting. You're afraid of insects and women. Ladybugs must render you catatonic.

Sheldon: Scissors cuts paper, paper covers rock, rock crushes lizard, lizard poisons Spock, Spock smashes scissors, scissors decapitates lizard, lizard eats paper, paper disproves Spock, Spock vaporizes rock, and as it always has, rock crushes scissors.

Sheldon: Why are you crying?
Penny: Because I'm stupid.
Sheldon: That's no reason to cry. One cries because one is sad. For example, I cry because others are stupid, and that makes me sad.

Raj: What's with him?
Leonard: Penny is keeping him up at night.
Howard: Me too. But probably in a different way.

Sheldon: Level 3 and she thinks she's rich. What a noob!

Leslie: Hello men. Sheldon.