Raj: What happened with Leslie, why did she dump you?
Howard: I don't know. She just said Howard, momma's a rolling stone. And then her call waiting beeped and she was gone.
Sheldon: I don't understand. If you were in a non-emotional relationship then why are you having what appears be an emotional response?
Leonard: Sheldon, he obviously had feelings for her.
Howard: Of course I had feelings for her, I saw her naked for God's sake!

Howard: You know, I'm really glad you decided to learn Mandarin.
Sheldon: Why?
Howard: Once you're fluent, you'll have a billion more people to annoy instead of me.

Bernadette: Maybe we should get one of those machines to help her up the stairs.
Howard: You mean a forklift?

Sheldon: Sheldon Cooper does not cry.
Howard: That's true, you'd rust.

Raj: What do you say, Howard?
Howard: I say Vegas baby!
Raj: What are you gonna tell your mother?
Howard: Sea World baby!

Leonard: What were you doing at Penny's?
Sheldon: Well, we had dinner, played some games, and then I spent the night. Oh, and you'll be happy to know that I now have a much better understanding of 'friends with benefits.'

Wolowitz: Raj, there's no place for truth on the Internet.