Amy: That was Wil Wheaton. He's really excited about tomorrow.
Sheldon: As am I. If you'd have told me as a child that an actor from Star Trek would be officiating my wedding, I would've said, "Ooh, William Shatner?" And if you'd have said, "No, Wil Wheaton," I'd have said, "Well, did you even try William Shatner?" And if you'd have said, "Yes, but he costs too much money," I'd have said, "Ah, well, Wil Wheaton's good, too."

Raj: I don't like bugs, okay. They freak me out.
Sheldon: Interesting. You're afraid of insects and women. Ladybugs must render you catatonic.

Sheldon: Scissors cuts paper, paper covers rock, rock crushes lizard, lizard poisons Spock, Spock smashes scissors, scissors decapitates lizard, lizard eats paper, paper disproves Spock, Spock vaporizes rock, and as it always has, rock crushes scissors.

Sheldon: Why are you crying?
Penny: Because I'm stupid.
Sheldon: That's no reason to cry. One cries because one is sad. For example, I cry because others are stupid, and that makes me sad.

Amy: So are you feeling okay? No wedding jitters?
Sheldon: No. There is nothing in the world that would stop me from marrying you tomorrow, even me from the future coming back to prevent the wedding and the subsequent birth of a child who will destroy humanity.
Amy: Because if you came from the future, that would mean you already went through with the wedding because you believe that time travel is on a closed loop.
Sheldon: I love you so damn much.

Sheldon: Are you having an allergic reaction to my boutonniere?
Leonard: No. I'm just so happy for you. And for me. After today, you are officially - and, more important, legally - Amy's problem.
Sheldon: Don't be silly, Leonard. I will always be your problem.

Mark Hamill: Welcome. We are gathered here today in the sight of family, friends and Almighty God.
Sheldon: That's too religious.
Mark Hamill: That lady over there made me say it.
Mary: He heard you, and he can't un-hear you.