Bernadette: So what is the craziest request anyone's ever made?
Anu: Oh, you know, I can't really say. Concierge-guest confidentiality.
Penny: Really, that's a thing?
Anu: (laughs) No. This one time, I had to go to Walmart at 3:00 a.m. because Britney Spears needed to blow bubbles.
Bernadette: Oh. That is so cool. By the way, do not tell Raj that you met Britney Spears, because he will literally die.

Bernadette: I had a plan. I kept leaving Dove bar wrappers around to explain any weight gain.
Amy: Where did you get empty Dove bar wrappers?
Bernadette: From all the Dove bars I ate! I'm pregnant! Try to keep up!

Stuart: Oh, so she's good enough for Howard but not for me?
Howard: Yeah.
Bernadette: Yeah. Go have weird relationships with your own mother and cousin. This is his turf.

Leonard: You don't go into science for the money.
Bernadette: Speak for yourself. Last month my company both invented and cured restless eye syndrome. Ka-ching, ya blinky chumps!

Amy: I tried to ask him about it, and he invoked section three, article five of the marriage contract: beeswax, none of your.

Bernadette: Look, I think that's LeBron over there.
Penny: James?
Bernadette: No, LeBron Kershenbaum.

Amy: Hey, did you guys know that Sheldon had a best friend growing up named Tam?
Leonard: Was that the imaginary talking koala?
Amy: No. He's a real person who apparently betrayed him.
Leonard: Yeah, so did the koala.