Penny: We're not gonna do anything.
Bernadette: Really? So all that work's for Leonard?

Bernadette: You better find my husband's mother, 'cause one way or another we're walking out of this airport with a dead woman.

Bernadette: (Shouting from the bathroom) How many times do I have to tell you to replace the toilet paper when it's empty?
Howard: I'm in the middle of something.
Bernadette: So am I!

Howard: I'm sorry I didn't take you to the airport. I just want you to know I'll never forgive myself for being so selfish. And I promise to keep you close for the rest of my life.
Bernadette: Oh, no, that thing's gonna end up in my bedroom.

Bernadette: This is so great. Why don't we do it more often?
Amy: Because you have two kids, I have Sheldon, and Penny's apparently in the gym all the time, 'cause damn, look at her!
Bernadette: Yeah, so impressive how you manage to bounce back after having no babies.
Penny: Ah, another reason why we don't do this more often.

Penny: Thank you, but you shouldn't have spent so much.
Zack: Nah. It's cool. I sold my company for a boatload of money. And then I bought a boat. Then I got married. Guess where.
Amy: On your boat?
Zack: No, but that would've been awesome!

Penny: Did-did you send this over?
Zack: I did. I asked for the most expensive one they have. They said it was $200, and I said I want a more expensive one. And then, they said it was $300.
Amy: But it-it was the same-
Penny: Don't.