Penny: By tomorrow, I want everyone to have this committed to memory.
Karen: Do you have it committed to memory?
Penny: You want to have a contest, Karen? Winner gets a yogurt.

Leonard: If I take it off, Sheldon wins.
Penny: Sweetie, every night you don't kill him in his sleep, he wins.

Penny: I mean, who even reads Scientific American?
Leonard: It's kind of a big deal.
Penny: If it's such a big deal, how come the biggest celebrity they could get for the cover is a molecule?

Sheldon: Woman, you are playing with forces beyond your ken.
Penny: Yeah, well your Ken can kiss my Barbie.

Bernadette: Penny, everybody feels like you do. Like they're not good enough, not smart enough.
Penny: What, even you?
Bernadette: Of course.
Jess: Dr. Rostenkowski, you wanted me-
Bernadette: Hey, did they not teach knocking at Stanford? Get out! (chuckles) I love that kid.

Bernadette: Why don't you want to work with me? I know I can be tough, but that's just 'cause I'm surrounded by useless idiots.

Penny: No, it's not that.
Bernadette: Then why?
Penny: Honestly, I don't know if I'm up to it. You know, the last project I managed was my high school yearbook.
Bernadette: And?
Penny: And that was the year we didn't have one. - And? And that was the year we didn't have one. Apparently, the printers won't make them without getting paid.
Bernadette: What happened to the money?
Penny: Uh, if I didn't know then, I'm not going to magically know now.