Leonard: Oh, hey, guys. Sorry. I used my key. I just needed a place to crash.
Amy: Is everything okay?
Leonard: Yeah, I had to get out of the apartment. My wife kept trying to have sex with me.
Sheldon: Been there.

Raj: I don't like bugs, okay. They freak me out.
Sheldon: Interesting. You're afraid of insects and women. Ladybugs must render you catatonic.

Sheldon: Scissors cuts paper, paper covers rock, rock crushes lizard, lizard poisons Spock, Spock smashes scissors, scissors decapitates lizard, lizard eats paper, paper disproves Spock, Spock vaporizes rock, and as it always has, rock crushes scissors.

Sheldon: Why are you crying?
Penny: Because I'm stupid.
Sheldon: That's no reason to cry. One cries because one is sad. For example, I cry because others are stupid, and that makes me sad.

Marissa: It's a little weird for us, too. I mean, instead of our baby looking like Zack, it's gonna look like Leonard.
Zack: Or Penny if it's a girl.
Penny: No, no, it's not gonna look- Sure.

Marissa: And, well, we're really hoping for a son. So just, like, keep that in mind when you're in there.
Zack: Yeah, just think, "Little boys, little boys."
Penny: Still just totally not weird.

Raj: Uh, if you still want to go, you can go to India and help my dad eat all the nonrefundable sushi.
Howard: Indian sushi? I need a change of underwear just thinking about that.