Howard: It could've been anybody. Marta, Gina, Annalise-
Raj: It's a little creepy that you remember all their names.
Howard: Not just their names. The cars they drove, the color of their eyes, and whether or not they had boyfriends.

Howard: You know, I'm really glad you decided to learn Mandarin.
Sheldon: Why?
Howard: Once you're fluent, you'll have a billion more people to annoy instead of me.

Howard: So you can never take it (the sweater) off?
Leonard: No.
Raj: Not even to sleep?
Leonard: No.
Howard: So you're just an idiot?
Leonard: It's called proving a point.
Howard: Is the point you're an idiot?

Bernadette: Maybe we should get one of those machines to help her up the stairs.
Howard: You mean a fork lift?

Sheldon: Are you all right? You seem distracted.
Amy: Yeah, sorry. I'm just trying to figure something out.
Sheldon: Is it what to get me for our anniversary? 'Cause I'll give you a hint: it's already in my Amazon basket. Just click "buy now." I filled out the gift card for you. Apparently, I'm the light of your life.

Sheldon: So I was talking to my mom about our Pemberton and Campbell situation.
Amy: Really? What'd she say?
Sheldon: Apparently, Old Testament God would bring down his wrath on them for being deceitful, but New Testament God would forgive them.
Amy: So couldn't we just bring down our wrath and ask the New Testament God to forgive us?
Sheldon: You know, I asked her that very question.
Amy: And?
Sheldon: She said I was full of California sass.

Barry Kripke: Oh God, I hate that guy.
Sheldon: That's strange; you seem quite fond of him.
Barry Kripke: I was only being polite. Pemberton is a grade A weasel.
Sheldon: How do I know you're not just being polite when you say it's nice to see me?
Barry Kripke: I have literally never said that to you.