Bernadette: Why is this article about Sheldon all about you?
Howard: Let me see. Oh, good, they used my NASA picture.
Bernadette: Why does it say that you're his best friend? Leonard's his best friend.
Howard: No. Leonard has always been kind of a monkey butler. Whenever Sheldon got into a scrape, I was his go-to guy.
Bernadette: When did he get into a scrape?
Howard: You're kidding, right? W-- Remember when he had a panic attack 'cause his hand got stuck in a jar of olives? I was the one who told him to let go of the olives.

Howard: You know, I'm really glad you decided to learn Mandarin.
Sheldon: Why?
Howard: Once you're fluent, you'll have a billion more people to annoy instead of me.

Howard: I invented a game. Want to play?
Leonard: Sure.
Howard: It's called Emily or Cinnamon. I give you actual quotes I've heard Raj say, and you guess if he was talking to his girlfriend or his dog.

Bernadette: Does your mother call you every day at work to see if you had a healthy lunch?
Howard: My mother calls me every day at work to see if I had a healthy bowel movement.

Amy: Oh. That's me. Hello? Yes, this is Dr. Fowler. I see. Okay, thank you. We won.
Penny: Congratulations!
Leonard: Oh, my God!
Sheldon: We did it.
Amy: I know. Can you believe it?
Sheldon: That's a good point. What if I'm dreaming? [Leonard slaps Sheldon] We won the Nobel Prize!

Sheldon: It's happening! [phone chimes] Unknown caller. It's got to be them.
Amy: Okay, put it on speaker.
Sheldon: Hello?
Amy: Hi.
Barry Kripke: Hello. This is Sweden calling. Is this Dr. Cooper and Dr. Fowler?
Sheldon: Yes.
Amy: Yeah.
Barry Kripke: Congratulations. It is my pleasure to inform you that you've won the Nobel Prize in being suckers!

Penny: So, I guess the only thing that actually stays the same is that things are always changing.
Sheldon: Interesting. So you're saying the inevitability of change might be a universal constant.
Penny: Well, there's a little more to it than that, but, yeah, sure.