Leonard: Come on, there's four of us and one of him.
Sheldon: Which means his triumph will be even larger. Minstrels will write songs about him.

Raj: I don't like bugs, okay. They freak me out.
Sheldon: Interesting. You're afraid of insects and women. Ladybugs must render you catatonic.

Sheldon: Scissors cuts paper, paper covers rock, rock crushes lizard, lizard poisons Spock, Spock smashes scissors, scissors decapitates lizard, lizard eats paper, paper disproves Spock, Spock vaporizes rock, and as it always has, rock crushes scissors.

Sheldon: Why are you crying?
Penny: Because I'm stupid.
Sheldon: That's no reason to cry. One cries because one is sad. For example, I cry because others are stupid, and that makes me sad.

Leonard: OK, is everyone clear on the plan?
Howard: Yes, Koothrappali's going to wet himself, I'm gonna throw up, Sheldon's gonna run away and you're going to die. Shall we synchronize our watches?

Sheldon: There once was a brave lad named Leonard.
With a fi fi fiddle dee dee.
He faced a fearsome giant.
While Raj just wanted to pee.

Leonard: Sheldon, would you be prepared on a non-presidential basis, to create an emergency ad-hoc slurpee/icee equivalency?
Sheldon: Oh Leonard, you know I can't do that.