(Leonard is pointing out the monotonous movie habits of their former relationship.)
Leonard: No. You always picked, and it was always the same. An hour and a half of beach houses in the rain until the woman turns around and realizes love was here all along.
Penny: But, come on, that is a great movie, and it starts in ten minutes.

Leonard: Penny, as a scientist, my job is to figure out why things happen. But I don't think I'll ever understand how someone like me could get to be with someone like you. You know maybe I don't need to understand it, I just need to be grateful. I love you, Penny.

Leonard: What would you be if you were attached to another object by an inclined plane, wrapped helically around an axis?
Sheldon: Screwed?
Leonard: There you go.

Leonard: My point is, while you're spending all this time on your own, building computers or practicing your cello, what you're really doing is becoming interesting. When people finally do notice you, they're gonna find someone a lot cooler than they thought. And for those of you that were popular in high school, it's over, sorry. Thank you. Congratulations.

Amy: If you're keeping him, I've got a cage you can borrow. One of the test monkeys slipped on a banana peel and broke his neck. It was both tragic and hysterical.

Sheldon: Get back here, you stupid bird, so I can love you.

Penny: Really? On top of everything, you're afraid of birds?
Sheldon: Its called ornithophobia and someday it will be recognized as a true disability, and the landlord will be required by law to put a giant net over the building. Which is unfortunate because I have a fear of nets.