Raj: Sit, you look like you've had a long day.
Howard: Naw, she always looks like that. ... Because she married an idiot.

Howard: You know, I'm really glad you decided to learn Mandarin.
Sheldon: Why?
Howard: Once you're fluent, you'll have a billion more people to annoy instead of me.

Howard: So you can never take it (the sweater) off?
Leonard: No.
Raj: Not even to sleep?
Leonard: No.
Howard: So you're just an idiot?
Leonard: It's called proving a point.
Howard: Is the point you're an idiot?

Bernadette: Maybe we should get one of those machines to help her up the stairs.
Howard: You mean a fork lift?

Bernadette: Aww, Raj did the dishes.
Howard: How do you know I didn't do them?
Bernadette: Because once when all the knives were dirty, you cut a bagel with your keys.

Sheldon: No, that's okay. I can fight my own battles. Isn't that right, Bawwy?
Barry Kripke: Is that a reference to my speech impediment? That's pretty hurtful. I can't control it.
Sheldon: You're right. That was uncalled for. I take it back.
Barry Kripke: Of course you do, because you're The Retractor!

Penny: (To Raj's dog) Bark once if you need me to call PETA.