Sheldon: Well, this is confusing for me. But I don't want to stand in the way of your happiness. So, I will condemn you internally while maintaining an outward appearance of acceptance.
Mary: That is very Christian of you.

Amy: Well, uh, Howard and Bernadette had their baby.
Mary Cooper: (gasps) Oh, that's wonderful! Now, have they decided to raise it Jewish or regular?
Sheldon: Welcome to Texas.

Mary: He gets his temper from his daddy.
Leonard: Ah!
Mary: He's got my eyes.
Leonard: I see!
Mary: All that science stuff, that comes from Jesus.

Mary Cooper: When your mom gets back, I'm gonna need to apologize for the way I spoke to her.
Penny: Well, come on, she did kinda start it.
Mary Cooper: Doesn't matter. A good Christian would have turned the other cheek. On the other hand, a good Texan would have shot her, so I'll just split the difference.

Leonard: You don't go into science for the money.
Bernadette: Speak for yourself. Last month my company both invented and cured restless eye syndrome. Ka-ching, ya blinky chumps!

Raj: It's too late. He's been murdered by someone in this room. Welcome to another classic Koothrappali murder mystery dinner.
Amy: I'm leaving.

Sheldon: Aren't you gonna come with me?
Howard: While you confront your mother about her sex life? I'd rather go back to that bar in assless chaps.