Leonard: How was rock climbing?
Barry Kripke: He passed out. He just hung there like a big salami.

Amy: Hi. You're on Fun with Flags.
Barry Kripke: Hello. I want to talk about how lonely I am, too.
Raj: Kripke? Is that you?
Barry Kripke: Yeah, I'm just sitting here all by myself wondering if I'll ever find someone to share my life with. Preferably Asian, 18-24, no fatties.

Sheldon: No, that's okay. I can fight my own battles. Isn't that right, Bawwy?
Barry Kripke: Is that a reference to my speech impediment? That's pretty hurtful. I can't control it.
Sheldon: You're right. That was uncalled for. I take it back.
Barry Kripke: Of course you do, because you're The Retractor!

Barry Kripke: Yes, yes, yes. He's a jolly good fellow. What time do the strippers arrive?

Sheldon: A fear of heights is illogical. A fear of falling, on the other hand, is prudent and evolutionary.

Wolowitz: *After he fixed Sheldon's algorithm* Gee, why can't Sheldon get a friend?

Sheldon: What part of an inverse tangent approaching an asymptote don't you understand?