Mrs. Koothrappali: I told you no. Why don't you believe me?
Mrs. Wolowitz Cause it doesn't make sense to me. How can it be that in the entire country of India, there isn't one Outback Steakhouse?

Mrs. Wolowitz: Howard, help, my hand's stuck in the garbage disposal.
Howard: Let go of whatever piece of food you're holding.
Mrs. Wolowitz: Are you kidding? It's a perfectly good chicken leg.

Mrs. Wolowitz Howard, are you having a playdate?
Howard: I don't have playdates. I have colleagues.
Mrs. Wolowitz Do their parents know they're here?
Howard: No, but if you keep screaming, maybe they'll hear you.

Mrs. Wolowitz Should I ask Leonard to bring over your homework?
Howard: I don't have homework. I'm a grown man with a master's degree in engineering.
Mrs. Wolowitz Excuse me, Mr. Fancy Pants. Want me to get you a popsicle?

Raj: Well, I'm a Hindu. My religion teaches that if we suffer in this life we are rewarded in the next. Three months at the North Pole with Sheldon and I'm reborn as a well-hung billionaire with wings.

Leonard: Howard, this is big science. You could be the engineer who builds the equipment that puts us on the cover of magazines.
Howard: I could also be the engineer who builds the crossbow that kills Sheldon.

Sheldon: Leonard, you may be right. It appears that Penny secretly wants you in her life in a very intimate and carnal fashion.
Leonard: You really think so?
Sheldon: Of course not. Even in my sleep-deprived state, I've managed to pull off another one of my classic pranks. Bazinga!