Mrs. Koothrappali: I told you no. Why don't you believe me?
Mrs. Wolowitz Cause it doesn't make sense to me. How can it be that in the entire country of India, there isn't one Outback Steakhouse?

Mrs. Wolowitz I'm not going near that fakakta thing. I'll catch a computer virus.
Howard: You can't catch a computer virus.
Mrs. Wolowitz Oh, so now you're an astronaut and a doctor?

Mrs. Wolowitz Tell her we're going to the Olive Garden. I have a coupon from the paper.
Howard: We're not going to the Olive Garden, ma!
Mrs. Wolowitz Oh, Mr. Big Shot with his Red Lobster.

Mrs. Wolowitz It's this dress. When I put my front in, my back pops out. When I put my back in, my front pops out. It's like trying to keep two dogs in a bathtub.
Sheldon: What do you want me to do?
Mrs. Wolowitz We're gonna have to work as a team. Get in here, grab a handful and start stuffing.

Raj: Well, I'm a Hindu. My religion teaches that if we suffer in this life we are rewarded in the next. Three months at the North Pole with Sheldon and I'm reborn as a well-hung billionaire with wings.

Leonard: Howard, this is big science. You could be the engineer who builds the equipment that puts us on the cover of magazines.
Howard: I could also be the engineer who builds the crossbow that kills Sheldon.

Sheldon: Leonard, you may be right. It appears that Penny secretly wants you in her life in a very intimate and carnal fashion.
Leonard: You really think so?
Sheldon: Of course not. Even in my sleep-deprived state, I've managed to pull off another one of my classic pranks. Bazinga!