Dr. Lorvis: Can I ask you a question? You're a guy like me, how'd you get a girl like Penny?
Leonard: Well, just being myself really.
Sheldon: Oh please. I'll tell you how he did it. Implacable relentless badgering. In urology terms, he was a drug-resistant staph infection and she was a urethra that could not shake him.
Leonard: I don't know that I'd call myself an infection.
Howard: A gallant man would defend his fiance for being called a urethra.

Howard: You know, I'm really glad you decided to learn Mandarin.
Sheldon: Why?
Howard: Once you're fluent, you'll have a billion more people to annoy instead of me.

Howard: I invented a game. Want to play?
Leonard: Sure.
Howard: It's called Emily or Cinnamon. I give you actual quotes I've heard Raj say, and you guess if he was talking to his girlfriend or his dog.

Bernadette: Does your mother call you every day at work to see if you had a healthy lunch?
Howard: My mother calls me every day at work to see if I had a healthy bowel movement.

Penny: You locked them in your basement?
Dr. Lorvis: Well, they're not locked in. The door just sticks.
Penny: Okay, so how do they unstick it?
Dr. Lorvis: They'd need the key.

Penny: Okay, you can't just go chasing after every girl who's nice to you.
Dr. Lorvis: Well, that's not what Sheldon says, and he seems to know his way around the ladies.

Leonard: Wow, Donkey Kong. This was my game when I was a kid.
Sheldon: Because it's a story of a pretty blonde girl tirelessly pursued by a small oddly-shaped man?