Howard: When I was starting to do magic in junior high, I thought I could be an escape artist like Harry Houdini.
Raj: How did that work out?
Howard: Pretty good. I managed to escape friends, popularity, and every party thrown in a twelve mile radius.

Howard: You know, I'm really glad you decided to learn Mandarin.
Sheldon: Why?
Howard: Once you're fluent, you'll have a billion more people to annoy instead of me.

Bernadette: Maybe we should get one of those machines to help her up the stairs.
Howard: You mean a forklift?

Sheldon: Sheldon Cooper does not cry.
Howard: That's true, you'd rust.

Sheldon: You may not realize it, but I have difficulty navigating certain aspects of daily life. You know, understanding sarcasm, feigning interest in others, not talking about trains as much as I want. It's exhausting!

Sheldon: (Playing hackey sack) One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight. Drat. I'm never going to get to forty-three again. One, two, three, four. Rats.

Penny: Hey! Shouldn't you be out with your gang spray painting equations on the sides of buildings?