Howard: And just so you know, when this started I was going to put the TARDIS in a discreet corner of the house. But I've since turned mean and now it's going in the middle of the living room on a rotating platform with a sign that says "Suck It".

Howard: You know, I'm really glad you decided to learn Mandarin.
Sheldon: Why?
Howard: Once you're fluent, you'll have a billion more people to annoy instead of me.

Howard: So you can never take it (the sweater) off?
Leonard: No.
Raj: Not even to sleep?
Leonard: No.
Howard: So you're just an idiot?
Leonard: It's called proving a point.
Howard: Is the point you're an idiot?

Bernadette: Maybe we should get one of those machines to help her up the stairs.
Howard: You mean a fork lift?

Amy: Have you made a decision about the TARDIS? I think I can sell it if we call it Big British Portapotty.

Sheldon: Amy, the Daleks are right on my tail. Quick, we need to reset the time circuits. Oh no, I left my Sonic Screwdriver behind.
Amy: Really should have thought this through.

Howard: Come on, one day this may double in value and be worth half what I paid for it!