Bernadette: Now you're making some real money, maybe you can take your friend out for a nice thank you dinner.
Penny: Sure.
Amy: And you probably have to invite your other friend because she overheard you talking about it and it would be awkward to exclude her.
Penny: Yeah, okay.
Bernadette: How about now?
Penny: All right.
Bernadette: Don't forget your wallet.

Bernadette: I had a plan. I kept leaving Dove bar wrappers around to explain any weight gain.
Amy: Where did you get empty Dove bar wrappers?
Bernadette: From all the Dove bars I ate! I'm pregnant! Try to keep up!

Stuart: Oh, so she's good enough for Howard but not for me?
Howard: Yeah.
Bernadette: Yeah. Go have weird relationships with your own mother and cousin. This is his turf.

Leonard: You don't go into science for the money.
Bernadette: Speak for yourself. Last month my company both invented and cured restless eye syndrome. Ka-ching, ya blinky chumps!

Sheldon: *singing in the tune of "Bingo Was His Name-o"* There was a scientist who had a theory, and James Clerk Maxwell was his name-o. J-A-M-E-S, C-L-E-R-K, space, M-A-X-W-E-L-L, and James Clerk Maxwell was his name-o. There was a scientist who had a theory, and James Clerk Maxwell was his name-o. *claps* A-M-E-S--
Leonard: Okay, okay, we get it.

Howard: First take a picture with me.
Bernadette: Why?
Howard: Well, Raj and I always talked about learning how to make cocktails like this together, so I taught myself and I'm putting this on Instagram so he can see it and feel like a turd. Say cheese!

Sheldon: *singing in the tune of "Eye of the Tiger"* It's the eye of the tiger, it's the ear of the bat. It's the whiskers of a catfish and the walrus--
Howard: Hang on. Not that your song isn't terrible-- it is... but how do you mention bats and leave out sonar?
Sheldon: You didn't let me finish. *singing* And also regarding the bat. It has sonar.