Mary Cooper: Do you wanna tell me what happened?
Sheldon: Are you gonna say it's all part of God's plan?
Mary Cooper: Good chance.

Mary Cooper: When your mom gets back, I'm gonna need to apologize for the way I spoke to her.
Penny: Well, come on, she did kinda start it.
Mary Cooper: Doesn't matter. A good Christian would have turned the other cheek. On the other hand, a good Texan would have shot her, so I'll just split the difference.

Mary: He gets his temper from his daddy.
Leonard: Ah!
Mary: He's got my eyes.
Leonard: I see!
Mary: All that science stuff, that comes from Jesus.

Sheldon: Well then why are you doing it?
Mary: Because I'm not perfect, Shelly. And that man's booty is.

Amy: Hold on. You're getting married and you didn't invite me?
Penny: It was kind of a spur of the moment thing.
Amy: Wow. Hope I can catch the bouquet from here.

Leonard: Penny. We are made of particles that have existed since the moment the universe began. I like to think those atoms traveled fourteen billion years through time and space to create us, so that we could be together and make each other whole.

Bernadette: Aww, that was beautiful.
Howard: Yeah. I mean, not like our wedding beautiful.
Bernadette: No, we totally won.