Bernadette: I just wish Stuart wasn't around so we didn't have to be so quiet.
Howard: I know. It's not like he returns the favor when he watches his Japanese porn cartoons.

Howard: You know, I'm really glad you decided to learn Mandarin.
Sheldon: Why?
Howard: Once you're fluent, you'll have a billion more people to annoy instead of me.

Howard: I invented a game. Want to play?
Leonard: Sure.
Howard: It's called Emily or Cinnamon. I give you actual quotes I've heard Raj say, and you guess if he was talking to his girlfriend or his dog.

Bernadette: Does your mother call you every day at work to see if you had a healthy lunch?
Howard: My mother calls me every day at work to see if I had a healthy bowel movement.

Sheldon: Perhaps I should explain. While working with Koothrappali, we discovered an asteroid, and I named it after you.
Amy: Oh, Sheldon, thank you. That's so romantic. But what about Rajesh? He was okay with you choosing the name?
Sheldon: Well, it took a little negotiating, but I wore him down. Uh, we get the asteroid, and if you and I have children, they all have to be named Rajesh.
Amy: All of them?
Sheldon: Even the girls.
Amy: Okay, I think I know what to say now.

Penny: And in double-blind studies, Placinex proved extremely effective in treating all kinds of anxiety. Actually, funny story. The boys in the lab were worried about getting FDA approval for Placinex; they started taking it, stopped worrying.

Howard: You know, once we get the house back to ourselves, we can be romantic in any room we want.
Bernadette: Great. I can finally show you where the laundry room is.