Howard: Can we get that off the table and change the subject?
Sheldon: Can we? Stand back while I turn this conversation into a conver-sensation.
Leonard: This time, it's your fault.
Sheldon: I have 100 alphabetized topics from "Artichoke, come on, people, it's just a giant thistle" to "ZZZ, the onamona-poetry of sleep".

Raj: I don't like bugs, okay. They freak me out.
Sheldon: Interesting. You're afraid of insects and women. Ladybugs must render you catatonic.

Sheldon: Scissors cuts paper, paper covers rock, rock crushes lizard, lizard poisons Spock, Spock smashes scissors, scissors decapitates lizard, lizard eats paper, paper disproves Spock, Spock vaporizes rock, and as it always has, rock crushes scissors.

Sheldon: Why are you crying?
Penny: Because I'm stupid.
Sheldon: That's no reason to cry. One cries because one is sad. For example, I cry because others are stupid, and that makes me sad.

Leonard: If you're worried, we can go over there and see if she's all right.
Sheldon: Okay. You know, I heard in the news a bobcat has been spotted in her neighborhood.
Leonard: I don't think Amy was eaten by a bobcat.
Sheldon: Who thinks Amy was eaten by a bobcat?
Leonard: You do?
Sheldon: Leonard, I was just mentioning an interesting local news item. Now, thanks to you, I'm worried Amy's been eaten by a bobcat.

Sheldon: I can't seem to get in touch with Amy. I tried e-mail, video chat, tweeting her, posting on her Facebook wall,texting her, nothing.
Leonard: Did you try calling her on the telephone?
Sheldon: The telephone. You know, Leonard, in your own simple way, you may be the wisest of us all.

Sheldon: New topic: women. Delightfully mysterious or bat-crap crazy?