Dimitri: Hey, Froot Loops. You got a phone call.
Howard: Who is it?
Dimitri: A woman who says she's your mother but sounds like your father.

Howard: You know, I'm really glad you decided to learn Mandarin.
Sheldon: Why?
Howard: Once you're fluent, you'll have a billion more people to annoy instead of me.

Howard: So you can never take it (the sweater) off?
Leonard: No.
Raj: Not even to sleep?
Leonard: No.
Howard: So you're just an idiot?
Leonard: It's called proving a point.
Howard: Is the point you're an idiot?

Bernadette: Does your mother call you every day at work to see if you had a healthy lunch?
Howard: My mother calls me every day at work to see if I had a healthy bowel movement.

Mrs. Wolowitz I'm not going near that fakakta thing. I'll catch a computer virus.
Howard: You can't catch a computer virus.
Mrs. Wolowitz Oh, so now you're an astronaut and a doctor?

Amy: If Sheldon proposed to me during sex, my ovaries would grab onto him and never let go.

Sheldon: Amy, when I look in your eyes and you're looking back in mine, everything feels not quite normal. Because I feel stronger and weaker at the same time. I feel excited and, at the same time, terrified. The truth is, I don't know what I feel, except I know what kind of man I want to be.
Amy: Sheldon, that was beautiful.
Sheldon: I should hope so, that's from the first Spider-Man movie.
Amy: I'll take it.