Howard: Hey, Bernie?
Bernadette: Yeah?
Howard: Please tell me he's your gay cousin.
Bernadette: No. He was one of my professors in college.
Howard: Oh! That's a relief.
Bernadette: Then we went out for a year.

Howard: You know, I'm really glad you decided to learn Mandarin.
Sheldon: Why?
Howard: Once you're fluent, you'll have a billion more people to annoy instead of me.

Howard: I invented a game. Want to play?
Leonard: Sure.
Howard: It's called Emily or Cinnamon. I give you actual quotes I've heard Raj say, and you guess if he was talking to his girlfriend or his dog.

Bernadette: Does your mother call you every day at work to see if you had a healthy lunch?
Howard: My mother calls me every day at work to see if I had a healthy bowel movement.

Howard: What, I'm not hot enough for Angelina Jolie?
Raj: Id like to weigh in here: No.

Sheldon: Good morning everyone and welcome to "Science and Society". I'm Dr. Sheldon Cooper, BS, MS, MA, PhD and ScD. OMG, right?

Amy: Are you in the lanthanide series?
Sheldon: Amy, it's Penny's turn. Penny.
Penny: Uh, I dunno. Are you food?
Sheldon: That's not a apropos! We've already established I'm found on the Periodic Table.
Penny: Well, it's a table, right? I mean, why can't there be food on it?
Sheldon: I knew she wasn't lead car material.