Howard: I've worked with Hawking. He's got a great sense of humor. And I think he'd like it.
Bernadette: Okay, call him and show him. I dare you.
Howard: I have no problem calling him.
Bernadette: Fine, then do it.
Howard: Fine, I will.
Bernadette: While you're bothering the world's most famous scientist, be sure to show him how funny he looks getting stuck under our dishwasher.

Bernadette: I had a plan. I kept leaving Dove bar wrappers around to explain any weight gain.
Amy: Where did you get empty Dove bar wrappers?
Bernadette: From all the Dove bars I ate! I'm pregnant! Try to keep up!

Stuart: Oh, so she's good enough for Howard but not for me?
Howard: Yeah.
Bernadette: Yeah. Go have weird relationships with your own mother and cousin. This is his turf.

Leonard: You don't go into science for the money.
Bernadette: Speak for yourself. Last month my company both invented and cured restless eye syndrome. Ka-ching, ya blinky chumps!

Howard: What do you think?
Barry Kripke: That ... is ... hilarious! Give me the remote control. I want to drive him into the girls' restroom.
Howard: All right, we're done. It's offensive.

Amy: Bert is studying the way microbes in rocks can survive in extreme environmental conditions.
Leonard: They say it could be a potential indicator of life on other planets.
Penny: You know what, I've met Bert. Isn't he an indicator of life on other planets?
Sheldon: You used to make those jokes about me. Now everything's Bert, Bert, Bert.

Raj: Well, I'm glad to see you moving forward.
Sheldon: Bert did quality research. And he deserves whatever accolades he receives.
Howard: What is going on? (To Leonard) Did you upgrade his software last night?
Leonard: I think he might be learning on his own.
Raj: Then the robot uprising has begun.