Dr. Plimpton: Can I ask you a question Howard? Do you like role-playing games?
Howard: Yeah, sure. In fact, I'm a dungeon master.

Howard: You know, I'm really glad you decided to learn Mandarin.
Sheldon: Why?
Howard: Once you're fluent, you'll have a billion more people to annoy instead of me.

Josh: So, I have to ask, was the robot sexy?
Howard: It was actually just a mechanical hand.
Josh: 'Cause that's all you need, right?
Howard: You are my brother.

Sheldon: Sheldon Cooper does not cry.
Howard: That's true, you'd rust.

Howard: Are you planning on kidnapping a woman?
Sheldon: Sarcasm?
Howard: Yes, but mixed with genuine concern.

Howard: I have a two-part question.
Sheldon: Go ahead.
Howard: A: Are you kidding? And B: Seriously, are you freaking kidding me?
Sheldon: A: I rarely kid, and B: when I do kid, you will know it by my use of the word "Bazinga".
Howard: So you're saying the two of you are going to be sleeping in the same bed?
Sheldon: Yes. Bazinga.

Sheldon: Now listen, one of the great minds of the 21st century is about to play host to one of the other great minds of the 21st century. So pay attention. Years from now, my biographer might ask you about this event.
Leonard: Oh, I have so many things to tell your biographer.