Leonard: Sheldon! We are dealing with an impossible deadline from the Air Force because of you. So have an energy drink, don't have an energy drink. Order suppositories and shove 'em wherever you want, I don't care!
Sheldon: You don't shove them. They come with an easy-glide applicator.

Raj: I don't like bugs, okay. They freak me out.
Sheldon: Interesting. You're afraid of insects and women. Ladybugs must render you catatonic.

Sheldon: Scissors cuts paper, paper covers rock, rock crushes lizard, lizard poisons Spock, Spock smashes scissors, scissors decapitates lizard, lizard eats paper, paper disproves Spock, Spock vaporizes rock, and as it always has, rock crushes scissors.

Sheldon: Why are you crying?
Penny: Because I'm stupid.
Sheldon: That's no reason to cry. One cries because one is sad. For example, I cry because others are stupid, and that makes me sad.

Sheldon: No, I know, but plenty of things are addictive after a single exposure. I mean, crack cocaine, nicotine, Pringles. You know, once one pops one just can't stop.

Howard: It's pretty late. You think I've got time to run some more simulations on the cooling system?
Leonard: Sure, I'm still figuring out the thermo-acoustic expander.
Sheldon: Oh, while you do that I am going to pump cerebral spinal fluid through my brain cells to remove the metabolic by-products of the day's thoughts.
Howard: What?
Sheldon: It's called sleep and it's my bedtime. Nighty-night, y'all.

Penny: Now Sheldon's popular? What is happening?!