Daniel: I love your movie.
Penny: Well, thanks.
Daniel: It has got to be one of the worst things I've ever seen in my life.
Penny: Your love confuses me.
Leonard: Would you like an autograph?
Daniel: Sure.
Penny: Okay, who do I make it out to?
Daniel: Daniel.
Penny: Okay.
Daniel: I have to ask. Were you trying to be that bad, or are you just a terrible actress?
Penny: That did not clear things up.

Sheldon: Woman, you are playing with forces beyond your ken.
Penny: Yeah, well your Ken can kiss my Barbie.

Leonard: What am I supposed to do?
Penny: Err, keep your mouth off other women.

Leonard: If I take it off, Sheldon wins.
Penny: Sweetie, every night you don't kill him in his sleep, he wins.

Sheldon: Stuart, wait. I do know what it feels like to be left out.
Bert: I know how it feels, too.
Sheldon: All right, this is about me and him; you're not part of it.

Penny: Hey, have you ever heard of the Van Nuys Comic-Con?
Leonard: Yeah, it's a dinky little convention where they sell collectibles and get sad D-list celebrities to appear. Why?
Penny: I got asked to sign autographs there.
Leonard: That's awesome! Is this for Serial Ape-ist?
Penny: Well, it could be for the monkey movie. It could be my hemorrhoid commercial. The list does not go on.

Amy: There's nothing to be afraid of, Sheldon.
Sheldon: The average cork speed is 25 miles per hour. If that is too fast around a school, it is certainly too fast around a kitchen.
Amy: Been 15 minutes. Just sayin'.
Sheldon: Okay, I can do this. Just give me a moment. (Cork pops and Sheldon shrieks) Oh! Mimosas coming up.