Penny: Hey, boys. How's it going?
Sheldon: Well, I thought we were having a nice conversation, but it turns out, I was being offensive.
Bernadette: So, normal.

Howard: I'm sorry I didn't take you to the airport. I just want you to know I'll never forgive myself for being so selfish. And I promise to keep you close for the rest of my life.
Bernadette: Oh, no, that thing's gonna end up in my bedroom.

Bernadette: (Shouting from the bathroom) How many times do I have to tell you to replace the toilet paper when it's empty?
Howard: I'm in the middle of something.
Bernadette: So am I!

Bernadette: Gosh, Amy. I'm sensing a little hostility. Is it maybe because like Sheldon's work, your sex life is also theoretical?

Leonard: He really worked with the Drug Enforcement Agency?
Penny: He didn't know it 'til he was cuffed, but yeah.

Amy: Well, everybody has things that they need help with. Like me. I can't see without my glasses. And right now you're just a cute, pink smudge wearing a childish green smudge.

Bernadette: You know, I just read that a team at MIT developed a device that helps people read human emotions.
Leonard: And you think we can get those guys to reprogram Sheldon? Cool.