Penny: Oh, someone's been shopping at Gucci.
Raj: Yeah, I saw something for Halley and I couldn't resist.
Bernadette: That's so sweet of you.
Raj: Yeah, it's a crushed velvet baby cape.
Howard: Oh, no, now we have two.

Howard: You know, I'm really glad you decided to learn Mandarin.
Sheldon: Why?
Howard: Once you're fluent, you'll have a billion more people to annoy instead of me.

Bernadette: Maybe we should get one of those machines to help her up the stairs.
Howard: You mean a forklift?

Sheldon: Sheldon Cooper does not cry.
Howard: That's true, you'd rust.

Amy: What is this?
Sheldon: I'm mapping basic topics of conversation and with whom they can be discussed.
I call these circles "Zones of Privacy". Don't Google that unless you want to see pictures of people's genitals.

Bert: I met her on G-Harmony. That's a Web site for geologists to find love.
Amy: That's a real thing?
Bert: Yeah. Their slogan is "We're all about dating and not the carbon-14 kind".

Bert: Hey. Looks like I got stood up, so I'm gonna head out.
Amy: Oh, no. Are you sure you don't want to give her a few more minutes?
Bert: Nah, G-Harmony recommends after two hours, it's time to cut bait.