Penny: We thought you meant not letting him run out into traffic.
Bernadette: Which he only did once.

Bernadette: I had a plan. I kept leaving Dove bar wrappers around to explain any weight gain.
Amy: Where did you get empty Dove bar wrappers?
Bernadette: From all the Dove bars I ate! I'm pregnant! Try to keep up!

Stuart: Oh, so she's good enough for Howard but not for me?
Howard: Yeah.
Bernadette: Yeah. Go have weird relationships with your own mother and cousin. This is his turf.

Leonard: You don't go into science for the money.
Bernadette: Speak for yourself. Last month my company both invented and cured restless eye syndrome. Ka-ching, ya blinky chumps!

Amy: I gave you one job! Keep an eye on him. How hard is that?

Sheldon: Because there's only one of me, I'm more valuable.
Penny: Right.
Sheldon: Although, Amy's already taken me out of my package and played with me.

Amy: Why didn't you tell me?
Bernadette: We didn't want you to worry.
Amy: Should I worry?
Penny: No, come on, it's Sheldon. Nothing is gonna happen.
Amy: That's what you said to me when I started dating him. And then five years later, bingo-bango, something happened.