Leonard: Oh, before I forget, Saturday I'm planning a little Dungeons and Dragons night with the guys.
Penny: Really? That's how you're gonna spend your Saturday night?
Leonard: Oh, come on, I hardly ever get a chance to play anymore.
Penny: Oh, you poor thing. Is having a real-life girlfriend who has sex with you getting in the way of your board games?
Leonard: Little bit, yeah.

Leonard: What would you be if you were attached to another object by an inclined plane, wrapped helically around an axis?
Sheldon: Screwed?
Leonard: There you go.

Leonard: Penny, as a scientist, my job is to figure out why things happen. But I don't think I'll ever understand how someone like me could get to be with someone like you. You know maybe I don't need to understand it, I just need to be grateful. I love you, Penny.

Sheldon: This song is never going to stop. Have you ever dealt with something so relentlessly irritating?
Leonard: That's a trick question, right?

Raj: Oh man, first monster I see I'm gonna sneak up behind him, whip out my wand and shoot my magic all over his ass!
Stuart: Do you hear yourself when you say these things?

Raj: Doesn't anyone have a rod of resurrection? Because if you've got one, I need it bad. Get in here with your rod and give it to me.
Stuart: Okay, you need to say these things in your head before you say them out loud.

Sheldon: Fun? Mixing Dungeons and Dragons with Christmas is like making a sandwich of grape jelly, the best-tasting jelly, and petroleum jelly, the worst-tasting jelly.