Raj: This is going to be the biggest smackdown since my Aunt Noopur showed up at the family reunion wearing the same sari as my cousin Sruti.

Raj: Amy, good luck getting these guys excited about a dinner with a theme. I gave up when no one cared about my Tom Hanks-Giving.

Raj: Oh man, first monster I see I'm gonna sneak up behind him, whip out my wand and shoot my magic all over his ass!
Stuart: Do you hear yourself when you say these things?

Raj: Doesn't anyone have a rod of resurrection? Because if you've got one, I need it bad. Get in here with your rod and give it to me.
Stuart: Okay, you need to say these things in your head before you say them out loud.

Sheldon: I've thought about it, and I really want to spend the rest of my life with Amy. Do I have your blessing?
Stephen Hawking: Well, Sheldon, I think you should make her finger like Saturn and put a ring on it.

Sheldon: Wait, oh, and I just I want to let you know right now that we are not getting married in a church.
Mary Cooper: That's all right, Sheldon. Anywhere Jesus is is a church.
Sheldon: Well, he won't be at our wedding.
Mary Cooper: He's in my heart, so if I'm there, he'll be there.
Sheldon: Okay, well, then, he's your plus-one. You don't get to bring anyone else.

Mary Cooper: Lord, thank You. Even though You can do anything, that was mighty impressive.