Penny: Okay, you know what? Let's just try a different improv. Uh, oh, this time we will be two winos living under a freeway overpass.
Sheldon: Oh, and we're going to use props?
Penny: You bet. I had dreams, you know. I was gonna be famous. Show everybody back home I could be someone. Now look at me. Want some?
Sheldon: You have any frozen yogurt?

Raj: I don't like bugs, okay. They freak me out.
Sheldon: Interesting. You're afraid of insects and women. Ladybugs must render you catatonic.

Sheldon: Scissors cuts paper, paper covers rock, rock crushes lizard, lizard poisons Spock, Spock smashes scissors, scissors decapitates lizard, lizard eats paper, paper disproves Spock, Spock vaporizes rock, and as it always has, rock crushes scissors.

Sheldon: Why are you crying?
Penny: Because I'm stupid.
Sheldon: That's no reason to cry. One cries because one is sad. For example, I cry because others are stupid, and that makes me sad.

Raj: Dance number aside, I'm so not gay.

Penny: Mrs. Cooper? Hey, it's Penny. I think I broke your son. Hold on. Talk to your mother.
Sheldon: (Crying) Mommy, I love you. Don't let Spock take me to the future!

Raj: I know the feeling. It's like accidentally walking into a gay bar and then having no one hit on you. It happened to a friend of mine.