Bernadette: Hey, just a reminder, I'm going out for drinks after work.
Howard: Oh. Great. Just a reminder, you're pregnant.
Bernadette: I'm not drinking, just taking a new coworker out.
Howard: Oh. Just a reminder, you're married.
Bernadette: Female coworker. She's new in town, and I want to make her feel welcome. And let her know the office is full of liars before everyone tells her I'm mean.

Howard: I'm sorry I didn't take you to the airport. I just want you to know I'll never forgive myself for being so selfish. And I promise to keep you close for the rest of my life.
Bernadette: Oh, no, that thing's gonna end up in my bedroom.

Bernadette: (Shouting from the bathroom) How many times do I have to tell you to replace the toilet paper when it's empty?
Howard: I'm in the middle of something.
Bernadette: So am I!

Bernadette: Gosh, Amy. I'm sensing a little hostility. Is it maybe because like Sheldon's work, your sex life is also theoretical?

Bernadette: One of the great things about being pregnant is drinking cranberry juice out of a wineglass and watching people freak out.

Penny: Is it possible that you're stressed because you're scared about getting married? I mean, it is a big change, and you're not good with little changes.
Sheldon: Well, that's nonsense. You name one little change I was upset with.
Penny: Uh, when they changed the green Skittle from lime to apple.
Sheldon: That is not the rainbow I grew up tasting.

Howard: It's a date. Just pick one.
Sheldon: It's not just a date, it's a textbook optimization problem. There is a perfect date. Just like there's a perfect room temperature and a perfect dessert.
Penny: Mm. There's no perfect dessert.
Sheldon: Yellow cake in the shape of a dinosaur with chocolate frosting, a scoop of vanilla ice cream on the side, not touching. You'll see. You'll have it at our wedding.
Amy: You wanna bet?