Sheldon: Okay. Well, assuming you're right, what would you suggest I do?
Penny: Well, I would start with something small, see if it makes your life any better. Um, you can learn to meditate, take a yoga class.
Sheldon: Oh, you know, I have always been intrigued by flip-flops. The official footwear of the laid-back fellow.
Penny: Okay, sure.
Sheldon: Of course if my feet are gonna be exposed, I'll need to update my tetanus booster.
Penny: Oh, yeah. Makes sense.
Sheldon: Yeah. And while I'm there, I may as well get a flu shot and a mole check.
Penny: Sure. You know, I've never had a mole check.
Sheldon: Ooh! Well, it's been nice knowing you.

Raj: I don't like bugs, okay. They freak me out.
Sheldon: Interesting. You're afraid of insects and women. Ladybugs must render you catatonic.

Sheldon: Scissors cuts paper, paper covers rock, rock crushes lizard, lizard poisons Spock, Spock smashes scissors, scissors decapitates lizard, lizard eats paper, paper disproves Spock, Spock vaporizes rock, and as it always has, rock crushes scissors.

Sheldon: Why are you crying?
Penny: Because I'm stupid.
Sheldon: That's no reason to cry. One cries because one is sad. For example, I cry because others are stupid, and that makes me sad.

Bernadette: One of the great things about being pregnant is drinking cranberry juice out of a wineglass and watching people freak out.

Sheldon: I call this meeting of the Council of Sheldons to order. Let's take roll. Science Sheldon?
Science Sheldon: Present.
Sheldon: Texas Sheldon?
Texas Sheldon: Howdy.
Sheldon: Fanboy Sheldon?
Fanboy Sheldon: Greetings.
Sheldon: Germaphobe Sheldon?
Germaphobe Sheldon: Say it, don't spray it.
Humorous Sheldon: Where's Jock Sheldon?
Sheldon: Not the time, Humorous Sheldon!

Sheldon: Why can't there just be one week each month for famous people to die?
Amy: Well, they've already arranged to die in threes. What more do you want from them?